Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish you could order shots online.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
