I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
