I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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