I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
