I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
