She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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