my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
