Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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