I wish my penis had an off switch
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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