Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
