Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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