we have officially lost it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Houston, we have a blender
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
