brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
