I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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