i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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