the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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