come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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