I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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