Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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