I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
