I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
