My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
