Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize