I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
