Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
