That's intense
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
