Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i think i just lost a toe
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