I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize