walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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