They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
