It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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