yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Boobs speak an international language.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
