3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
