the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
