I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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