You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
