Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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