do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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