do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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