While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize