And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
