ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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