2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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