You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
