Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
