Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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