shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
