my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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