She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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