I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
