you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
