You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
