:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
