There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
whose ass print is on the piano?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
