Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
