I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
well you can't waste a boner
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
