Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
