this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize