What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I want a musical about memes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
