Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
