Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
