Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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