what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
