Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize