Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
