He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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