I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
