i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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