Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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