He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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